Marriage Crisis – 覆Elaine

Dear Zita,

I am in serious trouble now.
I really hope that you can give me some help!

We have been married for four years after dating for three. Five years
ago, we have also started a company and with both our whole-hearted
efforts, our company is developing very well.


For our first six years, everything is wonderful, we loved and supported
each other, but things went sour late last year. We started fighting
over little things, mainly things related to the company. He accused
me of picking fights & cannot control my temper and I accused him
of not caring for me.

Last two months, with our work-load decreasing, I tried to work things
out with him. But last week, he told me that he no longer has feelings
for me. He thinks that I have changed and am no longer the girl he had
loved before. I admit that I am no longer that cheerful, innocent girl
7 years ago... Yes, I agree, but I have gone through so much! He said
that I took our marriage for granted, did not cherish it and damaged
it with my immaturity!

I know well that for a relationship to break down, there must be something
wrong with both parties. And I know well his faults in the whole thing.
It's partially (if not wholly) him that has changed me in the past years.
He is a very demanding boss & husband, and I worked way too much
to please him!

He has decided to move out. He said he is very tired and confused. He
wants to be by himself for at least a while!

We are still working together and there is no problem. I have spoiled
our marriage and I don't want to spoil our company.

Zita, I am very tired and sad. For the past seven years, we have built
a life together and now, it's like the world being turend (turned) upside-down.
My heart aches and I sometimes feel sorry for breaking the marriage.
I must say he loved me very much and I want him to love me all-over
again! I want a second chance but I know that chance is slim. What should
I do?

Help!


Elaine




Dear Elaine︰

兩個人一條心真是很難做到的事。而當他要離開你,就自然諸多理由,全怪罪於你。

看來,暫時你只好接受他離去的事實,你也趁此機會休養生息,開開心心做回你自己。

說真的,又是同事又是夫妻,很多人也受不了。況且,你的丈夫要一名天真而快樂的妻子,他面對著你,他根本無法可減壓。最錯的是你們有太緊密的關係,事業色彩太濃厚。

你在工作方面維持正常運作,實在做得很對,我相信,他骨子裡也正感激你的公事公辦。至於夫妻關係,就冷凍一陣子吧,要是他對你仍有感覺,他會告訴你。

隔開一點,你表現得自立又開懷一點,他自然又會對你有多些好感。而將來的事,就看天意。今日,你已夠辛苦了,無謂逼得自己太緊。

深雪覆