同時愛上兩個人- 覆 cat


Hi Zita,

I've read a lot
of your articles at she.com and I really like them. First time writing
to ask for opinion about love so I hope you can help me with my problem.

I'm 25 and have a boyfriend (also 25) and we've
been together for a few years.
We have a stable relationship




but sometimes I still feel like I don't really understand him. There
are some little things that I don't like about him and they accumulate
but he's a perfect guy for me otherwise.

However, I've
met a guy younger than me recently (he's 22). I've known him for a few
years but it's only several months ago that we became more familiar
with each other. He's become my good friend since I always talk to him
when I have problems with my boyfriend and he's a great listener. But
two months ago he told me that he likes me and wonders if I'm willing
to try out with him. I was really confused. I feel like I've devoted
for my boyfriend for so long so I want to do something to rescue my
current relationship before I try something else. After I told him what
I think, he said we should keep our distance.

However, I was really
selfish and I couldn't hold myself from calling him. And I keep thinking
of him everyday. And my relationship with my boyfriend became better
recently. Now I'm really confused. I feel like I'm liking two guys at
the same time. To be honest with you before I thought I'd never like
a guy who's younger than me because I don't feel enough security. I
thought he's just a really good male friend of mine. But this time I
think I may have started liking this younger guy since he's a lot more
mature than me. And he already said he doesn't care about my age. I
really don't know.

Zita, can you give me some opinion on this? It's really bothering me
a lot... I really appreciate your help! Look forward to your reply.

Regards,


Cat


Dear Cat︰

鍾意一個人從來不是難事,你也別看得太罪咎。

你也已告訴了他你不可能做他女朋友,所以就算你繼續找他,也未必有甚麼大發展。男人一向較實際,他見你拒絕他,他便自然對你失去興趣。

我有個預感,就算你揀了這名小男友,你倆也只會開心一陣子。

不如試試用這方向去想︰你與你原本的男友可以天長地久,但與這名小男友只可能有半年日子,因為他很快就會變心,繼而令你無面、傷心、人財皆空……

每當你有異心時,你也可以這樣告訴自己。男人的魅力無異重要,但穩定性則更重要。

深雪覆