男友與net friend – 覆Kelly C.C.

Dear Zita,

Hi, Zita. I was the first time
in sending and asking your opinion here. Hope your opinion can help
me to solve my present problems.

Now, I have a boyfriend, we together nearly 2 years, but actually I
found that "He" is not the type I wish to marry, as recently
he has mentioned

about our marriage. He planned
to marry me for the next year, initially I feel surprised, sure a little
bit happy is involved. But after thinking, I found his force in doing
that is related to his mother. He is a good son, always listen to his
parents, whatever it is right or wrong, he pay much attention to his
parents and his younger brothers, sometimes I found that I'm minor in
his heart. He rare listen my opinion, just only say yes randomly. Without
doubt, he already agreed that parents are very important in his heart.
They are the first priority whatever I am her wife in future, I can
get it.

To such thing, how can I imagine if I argue something with his mother,
he stand for which side? It is right to respect parents as being a son,
but seems he always carry his mother in his mouth in eating dinner or
anything else with his parents, but he never think sometimes I want
only with him of that! Sometimes he ignore my feeling when triggering
my mood by minor issue, he always use "right or wrong" to
justify am I wrong or right, He don't know I want his words in pacify
my anger. Neglect any theory I am preferred!

But poor that is I found that I already have a good feeling to another
guy. Actually I just know him through ICQ. He know my face and I know
his face too as we exchange our photo. But he is very talkative with
me. When I shared my BF"s issue with him, he say why don't U separate
with such kind of boy as too bad in treating U. He teached (taught)
me other means to backed up my weakness in dealing with him. I know
this ICQ friend for 2 years but he has back to somewhere for study,
thus we no contact for a period of time, but yesterday he give me a
call, very surprisingly. He already backed HK, the 2nd one is me in
calling. We have chatted through phone for 2 hours, very comfort in
talking with him as he is so matching of our topic. His opinion in looking
thinks are same as me.

Actually, I know I just get his good side through phone only, we don't
have real time in dealing with each others. Also, I don't know he like
me or not, but with him is better feeling then my present BF. Actually
I know he quite pay attention to me, when he goes elsewhere or being
left HK, he should call me as well. When he is in foreign country, he
also try means in calling me. This moment, I want to know he also have
good feeling like me as well? This week, we have appointment in somewhere
too. We really will face to face, I afraid the result, but really want
to express myself that I like him...Am I need to tell my BF of meeting
a guy in ICQ? How can I do between this two guys?

Maybe I am so unstable in my present situation, but hope U can help
me!


Kelly C.C.




Dear Kelly C.C.︰

一定要那名ICQ朋友真心想與你發展,你才有選擇餘地,要不然,男朋友同樣是那一個,而ICQ那位,永遠只會是朋友,與你解解悶,你又向他訴訴苦。

我建議你與ICQ朋友見見面,你可以穿著得迷人一點,眼神有電力一點。看看他對你有否更進一步的衝動。

不要這樣快便問他是否喜歡你,你們真實的接觸太少,他也攪不清自己對你的感覺。

一定要真正相處過,你倆才可以更肯定對大家的感覺。

而你的男朋友,與你溝通欠佳,又以家人為先,看上去很不濟事。然而,他對你有的是誠意,這種願意娶你為妻的意圖,其他男人未必會有。就因為這一點,你不可以放手。你知道嗎?有誠意的男人太少。

我建議你向他坦白你心裡的不滿,要是有心做夫妻,斷不可以只有他開心而你不開心。他要是完全不理會你的感受,你可以提出冷靜期。大家分開一下,也可以更肯定是否需要對方。

深雪覆