安全感 – 覆MM

 

Dear Zita,

After reading your reply, I
found that you are mature enough to handle many love affairs and agree
with you many of your way of handling love affairs. I write to you this
time coz I want you to give me some advice.

I have been with my ex for 7 years and we finally broke up in last June.

The reason we separate is because
of his immaturity, many of the times he cannot give me advice or solve
my problem, or may be actually, too boring for us as we have been for
7 years.

After we broken up, I want
to be together again for several times but he refused. Then, I started
another relationship with a collegeau (colleague) in last Sept. This
guy is actually a good guy and he also treats me very well. However,
one thing inside my heart that inhibit me from giving much in this love
is that: he can easily love others and he is also quite attractive (because
of his occupation and his personality) and he got 5 ex-girls.

I know that I should accept all his past history because all had been
past. He never date any girls after we have been together. I know that
I should give myself and also him more confident, but, ...you know,
I understand myself that I am a person whom is lack of self-confident.
Sometimes, I do have some silly thoughts that I should go back to my
ex coz he wants to be with me again now, he told me that he finally
realize that he can't be without me and now he is waiting for me. The
chance of loving others from my ex is relatively much lower than my
present boyfriend. (I think)

My ex. can actually give me more "safety feeling" in the sense
that he won't easily love others. Actually, this makes me confuse in
the past months. I am now still with my new boyfriend (we have been
together for 7 months) and our progress is quite good. I know that it's
all up to me to make a final decision. Actually, I love my present guy
more but I just wonder, can my love outweight his high risk behaviour
(easily love the other). Just tell you a secret, I am also easily love
the other but now, I felt I am changed, because I satisfy of having
him.

So, can u please kindly give me some advice to my love attitudes and
beliefs? Thanks a lot.

With regards,


MM




Dear MM︰

你與你現在的男朋友兩情相悅,他又無做對你不住的事,因何你無端白事自己嚇自己?

你對ex的感覺其實不太好,唯一的優點就是他給你安全感。我相信,你再與他走回一起,你也會嫌他這樣那樣。

你只愛你的現任男友,你也知道的。而愛情,是一種付出。你要享受愛情,就要付出信心。

要不然,返回ex身邊吧,那裡沒有愛情,但勝在安全。

深雪覆