Silent communication – 覆Amy

Hi Zita,

I enjoy reading your responses
to the articles at she.com because I think you provide really good analysis
to all situations.

Okay, here's mine. I've been dating my boyfriend for about one year
now. He's a great guy. He treats me really well, he loves me a lot,
and these are the things I can feel without having to ask anyone else.


Whenever we have disagreements on issues or when we get into an argument,
he would tell me sincerely how he feels, why he's upset, etc. The problem
is on me. I find that I have trouble telling him how I feel. Perhaps
it's because I love him too much, I get really upset and cry easily
whenever we get into an argument. (I don't know why, but I cry really
easily now, I rarely cry before.) I have a lot of things on mind every
time, I know my stand on those issues, but somehow, I just can't tell
him how I feel. I just can't. I usually cry or remain silent. I know
that this is a poor method of communicating on my side, but there's
something that's stopping me from speaking my mind out. Maybe I don't
want to say anything to make it worse, maybe I don't know how to put
my thoughts into words, I don't know what it is!

My boyfriend keeps telling me that he wants to hear my perspective because
that's the only way to help this relationship last. He doesn't want
the relationship to end because of the communication barriers that I
can't seem to overcome.

Please tell me what to do. I really want to make things better, but
I don't know how. I really appreciate your time. I know this is a long
and draggy e-mail but I know that if you can just drop me a few lines
it will at least give me some ideas. Thanks a lot!

Yours Truly,

Amy


 



Dear Amy︰

吵架時情緒激動是常常有的,你也不要太擔心。哭泣亦是平常事,女人嘛!就是如此。

你說不出來,就不要強迫自己說。最重要的是,每次吵罵之後,關係有否改善?

其實,當有天你發現非講不可,你就自然會說出口,我不擔心你。

深雪覆