Does he treat me seriously – 覆Carrie

Dear Zita,

Now my boyfriend and I are studying at board,
we have been together for 4 years. However, 4 months ago, I met a man
in my university. We became very good friends because we found we are
so similar with each other in personalities, in future goals and so
on. I found that he is much more understand me than my boyfriend does.
Later on, he asked me to go together with him. He said he won't let
me break up with my boyfriend. He said that he is the selfish one in
this situation, but he can't help himself to say it out, because I'm
running around in his head, he can't think of anyting (anything) but
me. After a whole day thinking, I accepted his proposal. When I told
him my answer, he said, "You kept thinking for such a long time,
that's mean you have feeling with me. So even though you don't tell
me the answer or you refuse me, I still know I have chance." This
man is always self-confidence like this.

  However, I was really not
happy with this situation. Then I decided to break up with my boyfriend,
because I don't wanna stand in two boats, I hate it!

When I told my decision to this man, he totally disagree with me and really
doesn't want me to do it. He gives me 3 reasons:

1. Now he needs to spend
a lot of time with his family and his best friends, because he is going
to study in another place for one year (will leave in June). Now, these
people are very important to him. When he come back here, some of his
best friends will have left to another places, they might can't meet
for years. While on the other hand, I will study here for years, he
said he is for sure will see
me
again one year later. That's why he can't give too much time to me.

2. He said it's better
if there is someone can take care of me in this country, then he doesn't
need to worry about me when he is not here.

3. At this period, he
really do not need a full-time girlfriend, because he has too many stuff
need to deal with. If I break up with my boyfriend, I will want and
ask much more from him. He said he doesn't wanna see that, because he
can't give me that much now.


Actually I don't know if I should believe him, especially the second
reason. Can a person shows such comprehensive on this situation? For
me, I always think that if you really like/love somebody, you wanna
him/her all, how comes you can accept to "share" with another
guy?

Zita, can I belive (believe) him? I don't wanna be played, and I also
don't wanna "stand in two boats", I don't know if this guy
is honest to me.

He said one of the reasons
for why he likes me is I am very femininity outside, but very adamancy
inside. He said he is very respect me. For this reason, I push myself
not to bother him when he is busy, and try to understand him what he
does. In fact, I did well and found the balance in this 3 people love.
However, last Thursday, it's my birthday, my boyfriend spent all the
day with me. While this guy, he even didn't say "happy birthday"
to me. I really didn't mad at him, because I know it wasn't convenience
and our final exam is coming, he should be very busy. However, today,
it's my roommate's birthday, and this guy has his final exam today,
but he remembered to give her a birthday card. I've really a little
shocked when I knew this. What this mean?

Dear Zita, does this guy treat
me seriously? Does he really love me, or he just play of me? Can I believe
him? Is it good for me if I forgot this man?

Zita, please help me. I am so
upset that I even can't prepare my final exams now. Thank you for taking
your time with my bored case.

Best wishes,

Carrie



Dear Carrie︰

這名第三者是一名高程度的男人,非常非常的理性,也深具分析能力。


事實上我頗喜歡這類人。他喜歡你但不想擁有你,這是一個十分好的idea。

如果你不能與他同一種思想,你就不該與他一起,你以為你們很合拍嗎?從這一點我斷定,你們只是興趣與生活層面合拍,但愛情態度不合拍。

當然就不要與男朋友分開啦!這個男人想繼續做第三者便由得他吧!他不想要愛情責任,你奈他甚麼何?

深雪覆