他不會和我結婚 – 覆CP

Dear Zita,

I found that u (you) give gd (good) advise on
love affairs fm (from) she.com and also your bk (book). It will be great
if you can advise me on my problem.

I went out with my bf (boyfriend) for 4 yrs already
and he just went to work in Singapore. Before he left,
we have been
living together for 5 months.
I found that we had a gd (good) time


and I started to think about marriage. In fact, he told me he never
wanted to get marry about 2 yrs earlier as we were having lots of fights
and endless arguments. I was still with him at that time cos (because)
I was so afraid to be alone. Then time went pass so quickly, now we
have been together for 4 yrs. We discussed the location to have our
wedding after he be back 6 months later. He bought me a PC on my birthday
cos (because) I don't have one and I need it for my job. Also, a web
cam for me so that we can talk online.

About 2 wks ago, I was arguing
with him on the phone, complaining he did not do enough to keep our
relationship, i.e. email, icq daily. He told me he lied to me he will
marry me later. In fact, he never thought he will cos (because) he think
our relationship is not gd enongh (good enough). My heart was broken.
I cried and cried. It seems my dream is not going to be true.

He still calls me twice a wk
and we talk for 30 mins each time. I was so alone on my own and don't
know where to start with cos (because) I was too in him before. I lost
all my friends cos (because) I put too much attention on him for these
yrs.

I want to tell me how important
he is to me, but I dunno if this is a gd (good) idea. I've told him
I would give him 1 more yr, but he did not answer me.

Zita, what should I do. What
is he thinking? Shall I wait for him? I feel so painful cos (because)
I want to email him and talk to him daily, but he told me his job is
very demanding and he did not have time to do that. I was so disappointed
cos (because) he told me he will email me daily before he left to work
there. Pls (Please) help.

Many thanks,

CP


Dear
Yont︰

明顯地,你們已是男女朋友,你們心中有對方,而且行動又熱情如火。

只是,男女朋友都有好多種。他的意思是,他愛你,但他不想在短時間內settle
down。他愛你,但不希望你有婚姻的幻想。他想為浪漫而愛你。

你呢?你心目中所想的又是何模樣?如果你想要一段可以結婚的愛情,我勸你以平常心,玩玩、開心一下的態度與他相處,要不然,你在日後只會不滿與迷惘。

你也愛他,你是分不到手的了。如果我是你,他的態度只是玩玩,自然我也要玩玩,最好同時候另外交多一名男朋友,平衡這種不認真的愛情的失落。

深雪覆

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