Love me out of sex? – 覆Novem

Dear Zita,

I met a guy for 2 months and as we both have
feelings towards each other, we were together after 2 months.

I found he's very happy and couldn't wait to
introduce me to all of his good friends. I was very happy, too. No later
than 5 days we had been together, he kissed
me, hugged me

and touched me (my breast,
but I rejected). He asked me to have oral sex with him! I rejected at
first but after he persuaded for a few times, I accepted and that was
the first time I had done that kind of thing.

As I need to go to work, we
can see each other only once a week on weekends. He usually asks me
to go to his home as he said he's tired of going outside shopping, etc.
You know, when a man and a woman stay together in a house, what will
happen easily? We have been bf (boyfriend) and gf (girlfriend) relationship
for nearly 1 month. And every time when I went to his home, he would
ask me for sex. Since I have set up a bottom line for myself keeping
the virginity, I won't make love with him at last.

I have several questions. Do
you think he loves me out of sex? I have told him that I have my bottom
line, however, he always asserted that premarital sex is a part of love
and he would make love with the one he really loves. So, he challenged
my bottom line.

As we only see each other once
a week, we usually talk over phone. Sometimes, we talk more than 4 hours,
but we usually have nothing to talk on phone (have dead air usually).
He phones me, just to report to me.

Of couse (course), I love him,
so I did what he told me to. Do you think I should break up with him?

Sorry for making this email
long and boring.

I look forward to your advice.

Best Regards,

Novem


Dear
Novem︰

你要測驗他對你是否真心,最佳辦法就是一定不可以給他真正的性,把處女之身一直守住。

我也認為,你們在此回事上觀點有異。他強烈需索性,你就緊守防線。如果他只是偶然有所需就算了,但差不多每次見面也以此回事做主菜,很有點出奇。

你該停止上他的家,強烈要求與他做別的約會節目,而節目是甚麼,由你來定。他有可能為了得不到性而與你分手,如果是這樣,也只好由得他去。他需索性不是錯事,但最錯的是,碰上你這名堅持守身的女孩子。大家並不合拍。

如果你決定了守身如玉是願望之一,便不要為他破誡。糊塗破誡的結果,只會是後悔一生。

深雪覆