再走在一起? – 覆Luv, Allie

Dear Zita,

Thanks taking time sharing my story and to giving me your opinion.

It's a simple story basically. Never ever believe in 'Love at first sight', thought that's only an illusion after all. But now I do.

He is from Thailand. We met here in London when the time I was a year one university student last year. It's his final year that time, got graduated juz (just) then and was time to heading back to Thailand to take over his family business. Everything juz (just) happened so fast and so nice. We spent 2 weeks together and then he left. He phoned me from Thailand everday (everyday), and two weeks later, I took my first visit to Thailand, Bangkok and stayed there with him and his family for 9 days. But that wasn't a really good trip. Found out there are so many differences in between us. That was the first time I lied to my family. I make a really big effort to go visiting him but he juz (just) couldn't understand my situation. He couldn't understand why I have to hide this towards my parents and thought it's okay for a gal to go visiting her boyfriend. But what he doesn't know is, I am a Chinese and that's our traditional culture. Besides, my parents juz (just) don't like Thai people.

He makes me feel so unfamiliar when I am in Thailand. He juz (just) acts so different from the time he's in London. Although I know it's becuz (because) his family background as they are with very high reputation in Thailand. I rather prefer he's a simple person. After that visit, haven't met him again till last August in HK. He came to visit me with his family, but maybe I haven't seen him for a while, we seem hard to start a conversation and things been acting a bit unusual. Then we sort of broke up in late summer last year. He wanted to be more concentrated on his work and also he's far too young to get settled down by the aged of 22. He asked me to wait him for 8 years and his business would be real successful by then. I've told myself not to even I am still in love with this person. As I know people are always changing their mind and promises are always broken.

And what my problem is, even though there's someone there asking me out, I would still think of him right away. I am not sure whether I am still in love with this person or not and am I sure I want to get along with him again. As I know situation will stay the same for another 8 years and I have to be thoughtful and not to say a word if I found out he is having an affair with another gal. I still got to see his brother and friends here in London every once or twice a week. His family juz (just) like me very much and really want us to get back together. So his brother will call me out for dinner or to join up with their events, and they even want me to go visiting them again in Thailand. But every time I join their events, I do feel a bit bored. As the crowd are all Thai people and I juz (just) coulnt (couldn't) even understand a single Thai word. But they are all very nice to me. I don't know what I should do now. I know his family want us to get back together but he didn't ever mention it to me by himself. I don't know whether or not he wants me to go visiting him and I know if I make up my mind to go there, then it means there's a very high opportunity for us to get back together.

Zita, what do you think about this? Do you think I should start a new life without him and all people that related? You believe in long distance relationship? And do you think people with different culture and speaking different languages will work out?

Awaiting for your reply. Thx again.

Luv, Allie


Dear Luv, Allie︰

感覺上,你們並不太相愛,你嫌棄這種那種事,最慘的就是,你發現了他都不是你心目中那個他。

他的家人對你好,但期望只得一個︰你倆他日會結婚。你問問你自己,想嫁到他的國家與家庭嗎?

而他,根本沒有空間心情去與你製造浪漫愛情,他的期望是努力工作,你別做任何事麻煩他。這種男人,希望得到一名全心全意,為他的女人。明顯,你都不是。

你接受不了他的背景,他又變得事業至上,我看,你們做普通朋友還差不多。你愛著的那個人,只是在倫敦的一個形象。

深雪覆