What am I do to his career? – 覆Luvgigi

Hello
Zita,

My long-d (long distance) relationship has been
lasting for almost 9 months, I am still studying but I will graduate
in 2002. I think my bf (boyfriend) is the right one for me because he
cares me a lot (calling me every night)…... and we get along very well
too (in other aspects)......

However, I really worry
about his future (career) because he has been working in his existing
position for 6 years, but this job's salary is not enough especially
if he gets married. I tried to tell him implicitly that it's time to
up-grade himself and get another job since he's 25 rite now. Getting
a diploma takes him 2 yrs at least and then he needs time to get to
a higher position after he changes to another career. By the time he
gets to an idea paid position, it will be at least 5 years later, so
I think it's time to start his learning now.

Unfortunately, he said he's
not a determined and ambitious person, so he doesn't seem to have a
heart to pursue further learning (except talking about general idea
without definite time when to start). Moreover, he likes to "play"
more than anything else, so I really don't know what I can do to encourage
him to start his learning.

Luvgigi


Dear Luvgigi︰

不上進也是一種個性,這世界上是有很多男人不愛上進,喜歡過一些無壓力的日子。

而我更認為的是,你若要他上進,他必需自發地上進才成事,你不可能迫他。如果你迫他,他只會認為你不是真正喜歡他這個人。

你最好「三口六面」向他表達你的期望,你既然打算與他長久,你就有權提出來。但只詳細說一次就夠,一次過講清楚。

如果他仍然抗拒你的建議,你就要靜心想一想,一名上進、有能力賺錢的男人是否你的必然擇偶條件。如果是,請分手。因為他一世也符合不了你的要求。

倘若你認為你可以忍受不上進的他,那麼,再繼續拍拖之後,不要再出口鞭策他。他不會改,再出口,只會傷感情。

深雪覆