萬能情人-覆Rita

Dear
Zita,

My relationship with my boy friend is very 'harmonious',
just like best friends and family members. We always gossip together,laughing
at or making jokes to others. I do not have to pretend in front of him.
Sounds good?? However, he doesn't feel interest in listening to my worriness
about my career, my feeling about our future etc. I am a typical girl
with a

common sympthon of repeating
things, thus, he was bored with my words. With these 'swallow' conversations,
I don't think we have enough communication of the core values deep inside
our hearts. Is it a fatal mistake?

Sometimes, I just think
that we are very very best friends but not lovers. I always keep on
asking myself whether I love him or not. In fact, he is so comfortable
with the present relationship (me too, as long as I can let go all the
swetness between lovers). Is it love??

Thans for your
advice.

Best Wishes, Rita


Dear
Rita:

我也不喜歡日日聽見情人大吐苦水,這不是感情交流,而心理負擔。

請明白,愛人不是心理治療師,愛人只是一名互相愛慕而且渴望一起的人。

你的苦水、不歡,我建議你另找朋友甚至專家傾訴。

很多時大家都把愛人當成是萬能的人,要一個愛人甚麼都懂。一個愛人,不可每項功能皆擁有。他不可既是朋友、性伴侶、愛情提供者、老師、父母、心理醫生……如果你們的關係正是甚麼也包括,這才是最有問題的關係:太沉重了。

深雪覆