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從小到大媽媽都教導我們在公眾地方應有的禮儀,「撩鼻屎」這回事應該留在沒人的地方做,可是,飛機上公然挖鼻的人實在太多了,而且他們,你懂的,都是男的。大概他們都覺得周圍的人要不在睡覺,要不在看著面前的小螢光幕自我歡慰,哪會有人留意自己呢?但請相信我,即使你想一邊扮抓癢,一邊用十萬分之一秒迅速「撩一下」,再立即「讓子彈飛」,我們也看得一清二楚。因為慇勤又細心的空中服務員,總有一個在左近。請勿再把您手上那些鼻屎「燘」到座位、毛氈或熱毛巾上,作為大禮附送給我們。

另一件「千奇百趣」事件,最世界最愛潔淨的民族-日本人,他們是如何在(死要)座位上表演刷牙的呢?

A餐:問空中服務員拿水及杯,刷牙漱口後用最虛假的笑容把那一團糟交給服務員,加句「太感激你的幫忙了!」(卻死不肯自己去洗手間)

B餐:把所有東西吞下去。

答案是:我不知道(哈哈,搏打mode),我只可以說肯定不是A,因為他們桌上從來沒有水。

我答應大家,下次我一定會親眼看著整個過程,誓要目擊到他們吞噬一切那一瞬間。

〔如欲閱讀更原汁原味的文章,請按下頁觀看英文版本〕

Your mom must have told you not to pick your nose in public, and your superego knows well your nose-picking image will be indelibly etched in your loved ones’ mind forever, if you are caught by them. Some people just can’t help themselves though. Honestly I have seen many male passengers “blatantly” pick their noses. Believe me. We see you. Even if you only pick it for one second, flick your bogey off your fingers and let the bullet fly, we see you clearly. Don’t you even try to smear it on your seat, blanket or the small wet towel that I’m going to collect, by hand!

It certainly defies Hong Kongers’ “common sense” to brush our teeth without water. Not until I had seen so many Japanese passengers brush their teeth in their seats, without even a glass of water, did I start to wonder if toothpaste made in Japan was edible. It turned out some of my Hong Kong colleagues had seen this before! I still haven’t found out the truth. But I promise you next time a passenger brushes his teeth in his seat, I will force his mouth open to check whether he’s really gulped everything down and report to you immediately!