If You Drink (too much), Don't Fly
“Would you like to drink some juice or tea first?” I asked a female passenger who had already had three glasses of red wine within an hour. “Didn’t you hear me? I need another glass of wine,” she shot me a look, one finger pointing at me.
Usually we suggest passengers rest for a while if we realise that they are drinking too much. Many will listen to our advice. Some, however, insist they were not born yesterday and they know their condition a lot better than we do. What they may not know is one gets drunk a lot more easily up in the air. Most simply fall asleep. But some turn suddenly into drunken Godzillas - yelling, screaming and killing everyone on the plane.
I had no choice but to pour her another intentionally smaller glass of wine. I kept my fingers crossed hoping she would not evolve into a Godzilla. She didn’t. She seemed to sleep right after finishing her forth glass. Lucky me.
Half an hour later when I was happily on my way to the crew bunk, I saw her wandering near the washroom. In the almost utterly dark cabin, I could still see her gulping for air. She was evolving. To save human civilisation, I had to stop her. “Madam, are you feeling okay?” I walked quickly to her.
It’s too late. Not even fully evolved, she collapsed right in front of the washroom.
Her face banged really hard on the floor. Terrified. My mind went all blank. I could only remember learning in the training that we should tap a passenger on the shoulders to help regain her consciousness. She finally responded a few seconds later. Carroll is so right. “How long is forever? Sometimes, just one second” (especially when I totally freaked out).
“Are you alright?” I could only come up with this stupid question.
“I don’t know...” she managed to mumble. The next second, a river of vomit erupted from her mouth. I was as if those innocent civilians running desperately away from Godzilla’s atomic breath!
I was the only male flight attendant on the flight that day. So who was to clean up her mess? You probably know the answer.